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Go Back   FZ1OA Message Board > FZ1 & Fazer Owners Association > General Motorcycle Discussion

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Old 07-14-2005, 09:36 AM   #1
silver03
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The Village Idiot gets a motorcycle

No, not me.

I have the pleasure (not) of working for a small, family owned/run business. One of the sons is about 40 going on 14. I'm not kidding. Anyone that has a conversation with this guy is left shaking thir head. He knows absolutely everything. My take on him is, if he had to have brain surgery, he would want to be awake so he could tell the doctor how to do it. Most of the time what comes out of his mouth is so inane, no one bothers to acknowledge it. Anyway, this guy bought a new motorcycle. The last one he had, he crashed about 15 years ago. What does he buy? A new 2004 Honda CBR1000RR. The only surprise is that he didn't buy a Hyabusa. For years his dream was to buy one and go 200 mph on it.

And the fun begins...

1. He tells me about it, but asks me not to tell his dad. Remember, this guy is 40 y.o.

2. On the day he is going to pick it up, he shows up with a 20 y.o. HJC helmet. He is stunned that he can't buy a new face shield for it. The helmet looks like he tied it to his bumper and ran around the block a couple of times.

3. His clothing of choice to pick up the bike? The HJC, t-shirt, shorts & tennies.

4. Proceeds to tell me how awesome the bike is based on the 1.5 mile ride from the dealer to our shop. The conversation is basically a series of variations of the f-word interspersed with a few other words.

5. He is surprised that his wife doesn't want to ride on the back of the bike. Smart girl. First, that would have to be about as uncomfortable a ride as one could imagine. With him at the controls I would pass, too.

6. I show up on the FZ1 with my top case mounted. He looks at the FZ and starts ticking off the things he wishes he had/could do to the CBR...luggage option, center stand, more comfortable seat. He also starts asking questions that an "expert" like him really ought to know.

7. He went for his first "long" ride. About 150 miles over 3 days. He had to get off after about 25 miles cause of the uncomfortable seat.

8. When I got my FZ1 in January 2003, the first thing him and his brother had to do was comment on my chicken strips. Mine are currently about .5" - .75". After 2 months, his are about 2" - 3". No kidding. Last night the guy with the GSXR1000 that works down the street was asking him "Dude! When are you going to lean this thing over?" Since the guy in question can't stand the sound of silence, he gave a 5 minute answer on why he hasn't leaned it over yet.

9. I had a 5 y.o. Shoei R-900 and a pair of boots that didn't fit me quite right. I was going to give them to him. They were just sitting around and I wasn't going to use them. So, I brought them in. He tried them and liked them and then asked me what I wanted. At that point I figured what the hell. I said $100.00. He was crowing cause he figured he had screwed me. The way I look at it, instead of nothing I got $100.00. I'll take that any day.

10. He bought a leather Jacket. A nice yellow Icon. This was a good thing.

11. Yesterday, he shows up with his new helmet. A bright yellow, scooter chick brain bucket. I was speechless. Even the non-riders in our shop were asking me "isn't that what scooter folk wear?" Apparently the big plus to the helmet is that it allows you to smoke & ride. It also sort of fits his wardrobe which is best described as "rodeo clown".

12. He asked me if he should take the bike in for the 600 mile service. I advised him that since it was under warranty, it might be in his best interest to have it maintained per the manufacturers specs. He said the dealer told him to not worry about it until the 1000 mile service. Hmmmmm?

13. I jab him about his mileage. After a month and a half he had about 325 miles on it. The weekend prior to my asking, I had done a 370 mile day. The down side is I get the 10 minute version of why things are the way they are.

14. Insurance. It seems street prepared race bikes are expensive to insure. ($1800/year) Especially if you don't have an endorsement! I told him to save his money. No insurance company is going to pay out on an un-endorsed rider. He doesn't get that.

This is just a few of the highlights.
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:46 AM   #2
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Good story, thanks for sharing.
My only concern is when he will rap it around a tree. LOL
Keep us posted!
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:48 AM   #3
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Could you ask him if he's filled out his organ donor card?
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:51 AM   #4
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"My only concern is when he will rap it around a tree."

That is what his wife is hoping anyway...
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:55 AM   #5
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Thank God he did not get an FZ1 and get on this board !!!

MD
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:57 AM   #6
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I think the only thing that will keep him from wrapping it around a tree is that he is pretty much a straightline rider. Hence behemoth chicken strips. Everything is 'Maching" this and "Maching" that.

Oh yeah, when I was bitching about the freeway speeds on the home bound commute he said "Dude! Don't ya know you're supposed to ride throught the U (University of Washington) District so you can show off for the babes?" Again, this guy is 40.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:08 AM   #7
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And married...and looking at babes...hence his wife is with the life insurance agent right now...
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:13 AM   #8
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He obviously wasn't kicked out of the nest at an early age and allowed to find his own way in the world. In fact he apparently still hasn't been, and now it's too late. Yeah, that's what the world needs - more 40 year old teenagers.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:26 AM   #9
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Re: The Village Idiot gets a motorcycle

Quote:
Originally posted by silver03
This is just a few of the highlights.


The image of this particular guy on his 1000RR with a yellow scooter helmet is too much.



Seriously, though, I just hope he comes to his senses and sells the bike before he dies.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:33 AM   #10
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Funny story, funny guy. Fools are always funnier when they aren't involved in your life.

Keep em coming. I love this guy.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:35 AM   #11
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Good story, thanks for the laugh.

I especially liked.

It also sort of fits his wardrobe which is best described as "rodeo clown".

Smokin' and ridin'. Now that's livin' the high life.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:50 AM   #12
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Please, PLEASE get a photo of him on the bike with that lid!!!
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:58 AM   #13
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Good story! The worst thing about this whole deal is sadly, it's probably a hell of a lot more typical of many of the riders here in our beloved country. It's embarassing and amazing at the same time. I see it almost every day around here. Shorts, tennies, tank top shirts, wearing fingerless gloves. Smart! They don't want their palms to hurt from the grips! Posers and wannabees... They are riding any type of bike you can imagine. How can you reach people that think they know everything?

I hope the guys wife has a good life insurance policy on him. She might be getting wealthy soon.
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Old 07-14-2005, 10:59 AM   #14
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Re: The Village Idiot gets a motorcycle

Quote:
Originally posted by silver03
No, not me.

11. Yesterday, he shows up with his new helmet. A bright yellow, scooter chick brain bucket. I was speechless. Even the non-riders in our shop were asking me "isn't that what scooter folk wear?" Apparently the big plus to the helmet is that it allows you to smoke & ride. It also sort of fits his wardrobe which is best described as "rodeo clown".

This is just a few of the highlights.



I feel very insulted over this post!!





I always dreamed of being a Rodeo Clown and now I'm afraid that people will laugh at me






Oh please! please! please! post pictures This I have got to see....
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:04 AM   #15
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I take it Washington has a mandatory helmet law since he doesn't sound like someone who would wear one out of choice.
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:23 AM   #16
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Excellent story.

I also like the "It also sort of fits his wardrobe which is best described as "rodeo clown" line.

Can't wait to see a pic.

What a terrible waste of such a good machine.
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:26 AM   #17
silver03
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I'll work on it. He is the suspicious sort. The helmet with his bling, bling mirrored, red trimmed sunglasses are too much.
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:34 AM   #18
silver03
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I just got a 5 minute lecture on the merits of the scooter helmet.
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:34 AM   #19
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tell him it's for the company newsletter!!
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:36 AM   #20
silver03
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Quote:
He obviously wasn't kicked out of the nest at an early age and allowed to find his own way in the world. In fact he apparently still hasn't been, and now it's too late. Yeah, that's what the world needs - more 40 year old teenagers.
You absolutely nailed it. This guy works here because quite frankly he couldn't work anywhere else.
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