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Old 12-01-2018, 06:51 AM   #361
AndyW
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Originally Posted by grommet View Post
I am humbled by your steadfast perseverance. I mean, I know you do what you have to do, and I'm sure behind the scenes it's rough at times, but your strength and determination shine through.

I can only hope that if so called upon, I could follow your example.

You and Jackie are an inspiration.

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Old 12-01-2018, 03:09 PM   #362
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I’m not sure I could persevere even though I know one does not have a choice. Props to you and Jackie.
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Old 12-01-2018, 07:05 PM   #363
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Strong humans humble me, inspiration indeed. Smiles look great Jackie so anytime you feel like it.
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Old 12-01-2018, 09:31 PM   #364
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The comments that you all leave mean more than I'll ever be able to express. Thank you.
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:12 AM   #365
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Many people go through life not appreciating it and taking it for granted. They turn inward, get depressed, are self absorbed and a general PITA to be around at times. To be honest, I see this tendency with my oldest daughter, have been working hard with her on that and feel she has turned a corner as of late. She is smart (maybe too much so for her own good) talented, perfectly healthy young and beautiful, but simply has a hard time of "seeing the point". Anti depressent meds and a lot of parental love, interaction and support have helped her.

In contrast to that pathetic state of mind, some people seem to innately understand what a gift life is and when called upon to defend that gift, fight with as much sustained perseverance as any bad ass Marine or other tough guy might. in my experience, a lot of these people are women fighting cancer. We men may be physically bigger and stronger, but the ladies have "heart" that simply humbles me. Have seen it myself too right here in this thread and also in my "real life" with a friend of ours.

My wife likes to pray for people as do I. She is better at it than I am though, she is simply a more pure hearted and better person than I am I told Mrs D about Jackie, she truly is a pure sweet soul, and she is petitioning our Father for Jackie's healing.
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Old 12-29-2018, 10:51 PM   #366
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So, as we make the approach on closing out another year, I for one can't wait for the year to be over and am looking forward to a new year. I'm glad the holidays in general are over. This year, well, it's been quite a year of ups and downs. We got our trip to Hawaii, which was nothing short of magical. We had our yearly gathering at the Richmond Celtic Festival and Highland Games and a good time was had with old friends and family. In fact, the year leading up to Thanksgiving was really good. Thanksgiving was shaping up to be very memorable, and it was, except not the way we had hoped.

My brother and his new wife came up from NOLA to spend Thanksgiving with us and my mother came up from Naples, FL with my grandmother as well. This was the first time in almost 20 years my brother and I have been together with our mother for a holiday. And it was more special since our last remaining grandparent would be with us.

Well, Grandma ended up in the hospital the day before Thanksgiving. She awoke and was complaining about being short of breath, which was not unusual for her given her medical conditions. But Mom did not bring the oxygen from FL like she should have. She didn't listen to her practical nurse intuition telling her to bring it. I don't know why she didn't either, but the EMS was called and off the hospital Grandma went. She spent almost a week in there, missed Thanksgiving with us, and to make things worse, the doctors messed her meds up even though they had a comprehensive list of what she needed. So the following Monday, my mother checked her out, brought her back to my house and arranged oxygen to be delivered so they could make the trip home. The trip home was planned for Wednesday 11/28. Tuesday evening, after dinner, while getting Grandma to the bedroom to rest, she collapsed and died on my living room floor. Her heart had weakened to the point where it finally just gave out. She was 88.

The silver lining to this cloud is that Grandma died in the company of family and where my mom had the support of me and my family rather than on the road and by herself. So the following week was taking care of the business that needs to be taken care of in a situation like this. She did not have anything in place, so it complicated matters. More on this later.

Jackie was of course distraught over this. This kind of put a damper on her whole holiday mood. And understandably so. Everyone was affected by this. We knew it was coming, it just happened fast and still took us by surprise. And all this is coupled with the fact that she gets down because she just doesn't have the energy to do all the things she use to do during the holidays. I do as much as I can for her, but I'm limited too with my work schedule. We got all the decorations up, but almost two week later than normal. Next year, I'll plan accordingly and have everything staged ahead of time.

Then, after all this, Jackie had an appointment with a urologist because on her last set of scans they found a kidney stone. They put her on meds to help her pass it, but it caught up with her and that required an ER visit for the pain, and was followed up on the day after Christmas with a sugical procedure to break the stone up. The surgery went fine and she is recovering, but it has still been a painful process for her.

We do our best to focus on the shining moments, though. Good times and laughs with friends and family. We did our yearly thing where we pick out a stranger in the grocery store who we think would benefit from a random act of kindness and we buy their groceries. It was a young family with children and as they were checking out, they were checking the balance on a grocery store gift card to see what they had to put back. We made it so they didn't have to. They were very appreciative, hugs exchanged all around, and all left feeling there was hope.

Still, we are glad the holidays are nearing the end. Jackie has another appointment or two about the kidney stone and we can move on past that and back to normal. Back to what our normal is anyway.

So, more on my grandmother not having plans in place. I can't stress this enough to you, my friends, what a burden your family will face if you do not have your final arrangements in place. After seeing what my mother had to go through, I straight up told her that if she did not get her affairs in order that I would donate her body to science and be done with it. She was a bit taken aback by what I said, but I meant it. Why she didn't get my grandmother to take care of this is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure it hit home with her how important this is. And I hope by sharing this, maybe it will hit home with some of you too.

But at the end of the day, I am truly thankful for another year with my wife. This holiday season did get us a bit down, but we made the best of it. We made some lasting memories, and we have more coming up for next year that we have to look forward to.

Oh, and on another bright note, we get to bring that little Belle home at the end of the week! In case you didn't see it and are thinking "Who's Belle," here ya go http://www.yamahafz1oa.com/forum/sho...postcount=2405

So, my friends, I hope you all had a great Christmas, or other holiday if you don't celebrate it. Stay well, and thanks for reading.
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Old 12-30-2018, 12:33 AM   #367
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Sorry to hear about Grandmother. Nice way to go, surrounded by family.

Advice duly noted.
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Old 12-30-2018, 01:05 PM   #368
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So sorry for your loss. Agree that we need to take care of our business / finances. Amy and I need to update our paperwork (wills, etc. ) and will do that right after the new year.
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Old 01-03-2019, 03:08 PM   #369
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Hooligan, sorry for your loss...it's been a year now that my Dad died from lung and kidney cancer, I was fortunate that my work gave me all the time I wanted to go across country and help care for him in his last days, and got to say our goodbyes, not everyone gets that chance. He was squared away, and had everything in order, I can't imagine the nightmare you all must have gone through when she passed. Take care, and appreciate every day we wake up on the sunny side of the roses.
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Old 01-03-2019, 03:43 PM   #370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hooligan998 View Post
So, as we make the approach on closing out another year, I for one can't wait for the year to be over and am looking forward to a new year. I'm glad the holidays in general are over. This year, well, it's been quite a year of ups and downs. We got our trip to Hawaii, which was nothing short of magical. We had our yearly gathering at the Richmond Celtic Festival and Highland Games and a good time was had with old friends and family. In fact, the year leading up to Thanksgiving was really good. Thanksgiving was shaping up to be very memorable, and it was, except not the way we had hoped.

My brother and his new wife came up from NOLA to spend Thanksgiving with us and my mother came up from Naples, FL with my grandmother as well. This was the first time in almost 20 years my brother and I have been together with our mother for a holiday. And it was more special since our last remaining grandparent would be with us.

Well, Grandma ended up in the hospital the day before Thanksgiving. She awoke and was complaining about being short of breath, which was not unusual for her given her medical conditions. But Mom did not bring the oxygen from FL like she should have. She didn't listen to her practical nurse intuition telling her to bring it. I don't know why she didn't either, but the EMS was called and off the hospital Grandma went. She spent almost a week in there, missed Thanksgiving with us, and to make things worse, the doctors messed her meds up even though they had a comprehensive list of what she needed. So the following Monday, my mother checked her out, brought her back to my house and arranged oxygen to be delivered so they could make the trip home. The trip home was planned for Wednesday 11/28. Tuesday evening, after dinner, while getting Grandma to the bedroom to rest, she collapsed and died on my living room floor. Her heart had weakened to the point where it finally just gave out. She was 88.

The silver lining to this cloud is that Grandma died in the company of family and where my mom had the support of me and my family rather than on the road and by herself. So the following week was taking care of the business that needs to be taken care of in a situation like this. She did not have anything in place, so it complicated matters. More on this later.

Jackie was of course distraught over this. This kind of put a damper on her whole holiday mood. And understandably so. Everyone was affected by this. We knew it was coming, it just happened fast and still took us by surprise. And all this is coupled with the fact that she gets down because she just doesn't have the energy to do all the things she use to do during the holidays. I do as much as I can for her, but I'm limited too with my work schedule. We got all the decorations up, but almost two week later than normal. Next year, I'll plan accordingly and have everything staged ahead of time.

Then, after all this, Jackie had an appointment with a urologist because on her last set of scans they found a kidney stone. They put her on meds to help her pass it, but it caught up with her and that required an ER visit for the pain, and was followed up on the day after Christmas with a sugical procedure to break the stone up. The surgery went fine and she is recovering, but it has still been a painful process for her.

We do our best to focus on the shining moments, though. Good times and laughs with friends and family. We did our yearly thing where we pick out a stranger in the grocery store who we think would benefit from a random act of kindness and we buy their groceries. It was a young family with children and as they were checking out, they were checking the balance on a grocery store gift card to see what they had to put back. We made it so they didn't have to. They were very appreciative, hugs exchanged all around, and all left feeling there was hope.

Still, we are glad the holidays are nearing the end. Jackie has another appointment or two about the kidney stone and we can move on past that and back to normal. Back to what our normal is anyway.

So, more on my grandmother not having plans in place. I can't stress this enough to you, my friends, what a burden your family will face if you do not have your final arrangements in place. After seeing what my mother had to go through, I straight up told her that if she did not get her affairs in order that I would donate her body to science and be done with it. She was a bit taken aback by what I said, but I meant it. Why she didn't get my grandmother to take care of this is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure it hit home with her how important this is. And I hope by sharing this, maybe it will hit home with some of you too.

But at the end of the day, I am truly thankful for another year with my wife. This holiday season did get us a bit down, but we made the best of it. We made some lasting memories, and we have more coming up for next year that we have to look forward to.

Oh, and on another bright note, we get to bring that little Belle home at the end of the week! In case you didn't see it and are thinking "Who's Belle," here ya go http://www.yamahafz1oa.com/forum/sho...postcount=2405

So, my friends, I hope you all had a great Christmas, or other holiday if you don't celebrate it. Stay well, and thanks for reading.

Condolences on the loss of your grandma. A silver lining, indeed, that you all were together and that you were there to support your mom.

I've heard it said that folks 'decide' when the time is right for them. I'm sure the challenges of the preceding days were difficult for her. But maybe she just figured that right then, with you all near, was the best time.

Old age and its challenges are rough, I'm learning more each year. Two of my grandparents were wasting away miserably in their late 80s a couple years ago. Grandma no longer knew those closest to her from one minute to the next, and could barely speak. Grandpa was over it all and couldn't wait to check out. When grandma eventually stepped to the other side, grandpa stopped eating and followed 12 days later.

My other grandma is 99 1/2 and still quite spry. Hopefully when her time comes, when it is time, it happens swiftly and suddenly.


Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-30-2019, 09:31 PM   #371
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Hi everyone!

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. Things are still going fairly well. Jackie continues to fight her fight with a strength that amazes me every day. We had a slight scare back before our NOLA trip in February as we thought she might have to change up her chemo due to some increased activity in the cancer, but it was very minor progression that stopped almost as soon as it started. So we got to go to NOLA, visit my brother and his family, partake in an authentic cajun style crawfish boil, experience Mardis Gras, and just eat too much in general.

We are currently preparing for departure for our next adventure. We will be taking my youngest daughter, who turns 21 this month, up to NYC for her birthday. We are taking the train and spending a few days up there, then coming back. I've never been to NYC, so this will be a first for me.

A day after that, Jackie and I will be driving up to Ithaca, NY for the graduation of my best friend's daughter from Ithaca College. After that, it's off to Mystic Seaport, CT for a few days for Jackie and I time.

I'm trying to prepare a surprise for you all that follow along with this thread, and I'm hoping it works out. You'll have to stay tuned to see if it does!

As always, thanks for reading. Take care and stay well my friends!
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Old 04-30-2019, 10:22 PM   #372
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Sounds like some great plans! Enjoy!
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Old 04-30-2019, 10:24 PM   #373
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Glad to hear things are going well, Derek.
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Old 05-01-2019, 05:39 AM   #374
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You always serve as a good reminder to live life like you need to get as much into it as you can, because time could be shorter than you want.
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Old 05-01-2019, 07:08 AM   #375
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Guess who gets to go get more chunks of skin removed in a few weeks?! This guy. I had a legit Walter White moment when I received results from the last 5 biopsies and blanked out and couldn't remember anything she said. 4 of the 5 were no Bueno. My wife was looking at me like I was crazy that I didn't write down what she said, but I legitimately didn't hear a word for a couple minutes. At least 5 more biopsies coming in a couple weeks as well, then some localized treatment on the 4 surgical removals. Assuming more removals after the next 5 biopsies.
It's a bummer as I had some cash planned for more bike parts/trips/schools. Maybe next year.
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Old 05-01-2019, 11:40 PM   #376
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You always serve as a good reminder to live life like you need to get as much into it as you can, because time could be shorter than you want.

This. X 1,000,000.

Pre-cancer, we had plans. Grand plans. Early retirement. Travel by motorcycle. Just enjoy life and each other. We were both working hard for that goal.

Post-cancer, we still have plans, but they are not as long term. We set small goals, meet them, and move on. Case in point, our NOLA trip in February '19 we didn't plan until November of '18. Our NYC trip and subsequent NY and CT trip were only just planned late last year as well. Retirement is still in the grand scope of things, but now it is something that I look at more as a variable, not so set in concrete like before. I'm still saving for it, but I dialed it back a notch to be able to do more of the things we want now, rather than later, and better than too late.

We are very, very fortunate to be able to do these things. I am able to pretty much work all the OT at work that I want, so I do. And coupled with the fact that we have very little medical debt makes this much, much easier. Years ago, you amazing people here at the FZ1OA did a wonderful and beautiful thing for us and, in no small part, are responsible for helping us be where we are today. We are also fortunate in that when Jackie was working, she had an AFLAC policy that helped out a lot, and still does to this day. The feather in the cap is the Medicare, which she became eligible for after being two years disabled, that is our secondary insurer for her and all but eliminates any outstanding medical expenses. Jackie tells me stories, a lot of stories unfortunately, of women she knows through FB groups who have metastatic breast cancer that lose everything; their jobs, their cars, their homes, and a lot of times their husbands, because of this disease.

We decided after she retired, that we would live life one day at a time. Enjoy each day, and each other, for what ever amount of time is left. Sure, we made end game plans, but for right now, the game is still in session and you better be damn sure we are gonna keep playing like there is no clock ticking away.

Our motto is live hard, laugh harder, love hardest.
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Old 05-22-2019, 09:53 PM   #377
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Ok, so I literally just got back from our vaction to NYC, NY and CT. I will post up some pics of those, but I HAD to get these up now, I couldn't wait. Remember that surprise I told y'all about? Well here it is. Recognize that guy? No, not the homeless lookin' dude, the other one. Yep, we drove up and got to meet the one and only Todd S! And Mrs. Todd S! Jackie and I had a wonderful time visiting them, talking with them and sharing a wonderful home cooked meal. They were very gracious hosts! I wish it could have been a longer visit, but it was definitely one of the highlights of our vacation.

Hope to see these two again soon!
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Old 05-22-2019, 10:07 PM   #378
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I had the pleasure of meeting the future Mrs Todd back when she was just 20 at a MiniG in SLO.

An amazingly smart and charming lady. I wondered what she saw in that Todd guy.

Todd is of course one of the best peeps on the OA. Glad you got to meet with him and the famdamnly.

Did you get to pet the doggies?
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Old 05-22-2019, 10:10 PM   #379
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Yep. And they played with my doggies, the small ones.
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Old 05-22-2019, 10:17 PM   #380
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the power of motorcycles reaches across time and space to bring people together.

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